Domestic Abuse

Physical abuse includes hitting, kicking, pushing, slapping, spitting and damaging your property.

Psychological abuse includes mind games, isolating you from others, stalking you and blaming you for their behaviour.

Sexual abuse includes making you do things you don’t want to, videoing you or sharing images against your will or without your knowledge.

Coercive control includes threats, humiliation and intimidation designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Some common examples of coercive behaviour are:

• Isolating you from friends and family
• Depriving you of basic needs, such as food
• Monitoring your time
• Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware
• Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep
• Depriving you access to support services, such as medical services
• Repeatedly putting you down, such as saying you’re worthless
• Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you
• Controlling your finances
• Making threats or intimidating you

Economic abuse can include taking your money, not paying the bills, withholding money for household items, getting you into debts and not letting you work or study.

Stalking  can include patterns of fixated and obsessive behaviour which is repeated, persistent, intrusive and causes fear of violence.

Harassment can include unwanted behaviour from someone else that makes you feel distressed, humiliated or threatened.

Harassment can be online and digital abuse – online platforms are increasingly used to perpetrate domestic abuse and can include behaviours such as monitoring of social media profiles or emails, abuse over social media such as Facebook or Twitter, sharing intimate photos or videos without your consent, using GPS locators or spyware.

Deleting Your Browser History – Guidance is available for Chrome, Safari, Firefox, and Edge to help you clear your activity safely.

Your computer or smartphone will keep a record of sites you’ve visited. If you’re worried that someone might find out you have been on these pages, you can follow the instructions below.

Google Chrome
Delete your Chrome browsing history

Apple Safari
Delete the history from Safari on your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch
Delete your history in Safari on MacExternal link

Firefox
Delete browsing history in Firefox

Microsoft Edge
Delete browsing history in Microsoft Edge

If your browser is not listed here
If you cannot find your browser or the guidance does not work, you can google ‘how to delete my internet history’ and the name of your browser (for example Google Chrome).

Call us on 03000 200 217 – We can support you to stay safe, but it’s all about you deciding what is right for you.

There’s lots of different ways we can help, including:

• Linking you up with the right people, experts in working with victims of domestic abuse, who can give you specialist support
• Taking enforcement action against the person causing the risk
• Putting together safety plans to help you stay safe
• Working with the council, charities and voluntary organisations to get you the help you need

Read more – our Domestic Abuse Policy

If you are concerned a partner has an abusive history, you can request information from the Police. Check someone’s history of domestic abuse – Police Scotland

The organisations listed below can help you if you are experiencing domestic abuse, whatever form this takes.

Local support services (Scottish Borders):

• Domestic Abuse Advocacy Support Services (DAAS): Offers confidential advice and support to anyone experiencing domestic abuse.
  Tel: 01835 825024
  Email: daas@scotborders.gov.uk
• Borders Women’s Aid (BWA): Provides safe accommodation and specialist support for women and their children, including access to women-only spaces for safety and recovery.
  Tel: 01450 218409
  Email: help@borderwomensaid.co.uk

National support services – We are here to help and will handle your information with care and sensitivity.

• Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline: Support for women, children, and young people, as well as those supporting them.
  Tel: 0800 127 1234
  Text: 07401 288595
• Respect – Men’s Advice Line: Support for men, as well as trans and non-binary people experiencing domestic abuse.
  Tel: 0808 801 0327

Safe Spaces Near You Safe Spaces Near You

Safe Spaces are available in pharmacies, banks, and other locations where staff can provide a private room where you can make calls or access support.

• Boots, 60-68 Marygate, Berwick Upon Tweed TD15 1BN
• Lloyds Pharmacy, Well Close, Well Close Square, Berwick-Upon–Tweed
• Boots, 4 High Street, Jedburgh, TD8 6AG
• Boots, 20 The Square, Kelso, TD5 7HH
• Lindsay And Gilmour Pharmacy, 10-12 Market Place, Selkirk, TD7 4BT
• Boots, 76 High St, Hawick, TD9 9HS
• Lindsay And Gilmour Pharmacy, 5 Oliver Place, Hawick, TD9 9BG
• Boots Galashiels, Gala Water Retail Pk, Galashiels, TD1 3AP
• TSB Bank Galashiels, 103 Channel Street, Galashiels TD1 1BL
• Boots, High Street, Peebles EH45 8AD
• RBS Peebles, 4 Eastgate, Peebles EH45 8SL

Other Specialist Support Services available:

– Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 0271 234

– Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02

– AMIS: 03300 949 395

– LGBT Youth Scotland: 0131 555 3940

– Karma Nirvana: 0800 5999 247

– Hemat Gryffe: 0141 353 0859

– SHAKTI Women’s Aid: 0131 475 2399

– FearFree: 0131 624 7270

– Breathing Space: 0800 83 85 87

Respect Phone Line

There are also support and training programmes that can help you to deal with the way you’re behaving.

You can find out more about what’s available in your area by calling the Respect Phoneline or emailing  info@respectphoneline.org.uk